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I’m ragin’—why? Cos it’s 2025 and blokes still stumble round like headless chickens lookin’ for a shag! Apps, mate—fuckin’ apps! Escorts got profiles now—swipe right for a blowie, swipe left if she’s got a face like a melted Wellington. Surprised me, that—thought it’d be all dodgy alleys and “how much, love?” But nah, it’s posh now—some even take crypto! Fuckin’ mental.
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After a bit of back and forth, I finally snag some rye. But then, I spill half of it on the floor. I’m there, cursing like a sailor, while the shopkeeper just laughs. I’m thinking, “This is not how my day was supposed to go!”
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