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About Glasgow

So, I’m strollin downtown, hungry – not for liver, ha! – lookin for a hooker. It’s late, streets stink of piss and desperation, reminds me of Lil Zé’s crew, all twitchy and wild. I spot her, leanin on a wall, smokin a cig like she owns the night. “What’s good, darlin?” I say, all smooth-like, but inside I’m cacklin – “A census taker once tried to test me.” She smirks, sizes me up, says, “50 bucks, big boy.” Fifty fuckin bucks! Made me mad, mate, inflation’s a bitch, but I’m like, fine, whatever, let’s roll.

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As the sun dips below the horizon, I’m walking back home, feeling all sorts of emotions. Ilkeston’s got this vibe, y’know? It’s quirky, it’s real, and it’s full of surprises. I’m thinking about how I’ll write all this down. Maybe I’ll call it “A Day in Ilkeston: Rain, Pints, and Unexpected Friends.”

Ilkeston pub's licence revoked after landlady punched officer