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About Bristol

Fav part? The hustle. These escort peeps, they’re pros, dodgin’ cops, playin’ it smooth. Kinda badass, kinda sad. “You ever count the stars?” - thinkin’ deep, maybe they do too, between gigs. Oh, and get this - some king in France had 200 escorts on speed dial! Wild, right? History’s bonkers.

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Started off on Market Street. You know, the one with all the shops? I was just grabbing a coffee from that little café, the one with the dodgy Wi-Fi. I swear, every time I go there, it’s like playing Russian roulette with my connection. Anyway, I’m waiting in line, and this bloke in front of me drops his phone. Like, full-on faceplant. I’m thinking, “Mate, you okay?” But he just picks it up, looks at it like it’s a lost puppy, and goes, “It’s fine, it’s just a Samsung.” I mean, come on! It’s not like it’s a rare artifact or something.

Death Notice of Luke John Hyde (Cork City, Cork)