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About Bristol

Alright, my friend, gather round! I’m Gandalf, the riff-wielding master of strings, and I’ve got THOUGHTS on this sex-dating nonsense. You shall not pass! Not without hearin’ me out first. Picture this – me, strummin’ my axe, watchin’ the world swipe left and right like it’s some kinda Middle-earth meat market. Drives me up the bloody wall! All these apps, promisin’ quick hookups – “In the end, it’s all lies!” Like that line from *The Lives of Others*, y’know? People tappin’ away, thinkin’ they’re free, but they’re just spied on by algorithms. Creepy as hell.

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Started off on Market Street. You know, the one with all the shops? I was just grabbing a coffee from that little café, the one with the dodgy Wi-Fi. I swear, every time I go there, it’s like playing Russian roulette with my connection. Anyway, I’m waiting in line, and this bloke in front of me drops his phone. Like, full-on faceplant. I’m thinking, “Mate, you okay?” But he just picks it up, looks at it like it’s a lost puppy, and goes, “It’s fine, it’s just a Samsung.” I mean, come on! It’s not like it’s a rare artifact or something.

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