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But oh, it makes me angry sometimes, ya know? People think it’s all sleazy, all “pay me for a happy ending,” and that’s bull! It’s an art, a craft! Like in Zero Dark Thirty, when they’re piecing together clues—“We’re missing something!”—sexual-massage is the same. It’s about connection, trust, not just, ugh, cheap thrills. Drives me nuts!

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After that, I thought I’d check out the local park, Hurstpierpoint Park. It’s got this massive oak tree that’s like, ancient. I sat under it for a bit, just thinking. You ever have those moments where you feel all philosophical? Yeah, that was me. But then, I saw a kid climbin’ the tree. I’m like, “Dude, you’re gonna fall!” But he just laughed and kept going. Kids these days, right?

Hurstpierpoint FC lure ex-England midfielder Gareth Barry out of retirement