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But—ooh!—sometimes it’s gold! Met this one lass—total babe—chatted about jellyfish and chill. We clicked, like, instant vibes! Little known fact: sex-dating’s been around forever—Romans had “erotic tablets” to hook up! Ain’t that nuts? Made me happy as a clam at high tide. Thought in me head: “SpongeBob, you’re a genius!”

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Then, outta nowhere, it starts to rain! Like, seriously? I’m caught off guard, and I’m sprinting for cover. I duck into this little pub, The Old Bridge, and grab a pint. I’m soaked, but hey, at least I’m dry now, right? I start chatting with the bartender, and he tells me about the local ghost stories. Apparently, the old bridge is haunted! I’m like, “No way!” But he’s dead serious. I’m intrigued, but also a bit freaked out.

Update after pub kitchen forced to close following discovery of a gas leak