Paisley Hungerford Sexual Massage ❤️

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Little fact for ya—did ya know erotic-massage goes back centuries? Ancient Greeks were at it, callin’ it “body worship”—sounds posh, right? Bet they weren’t usin’ cheap-ass lotion from Tesco, though! Makes me happy thinkin’ of some toga-wearin’ geezer gettin’ oiled up, but I’m ragin’ when I see today’s lot butcherin’ it. Had this one bird—tattooed, all attitude—give me a rubdown so good I nearly cried, “Lord, give me strength!”—another Ida line, coz it felt holy, mate. Then some prat last week—hands like sandpaper, no rhythm—made me wanna shove his head in a blender!

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Then I hit up the local café, The Hungerford Hub. Best coffee ever, but the barista, Lucy, is a total character. She’s got this bright pink hair and a nose ring that looks like it could double as a fishing hook. I order my usual, a flat white, and she’s like, “You sure you can handle it?” I’m like, “Girl, I’ve survived worse.”

Big Crowd Enjoy BetVictor Hungerford Day With Dizzee Rascal