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There’s this shady joint downtown—heard stories. Guy goes in, comes out floatin’. Says it’s “spiritual”—yeah, right, spiritual my ass. Prolly just happy-endin’ central. Funny tho—people whisper about it. “Did ya hear? Massage with a twist!” Cracks me up. Oh, typo alert—masage, heh, whoops.

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So, I’m feeling good, right? I step outside, and guess what? I bump into my mate, Sarah. She’s got this wild idea to go to Greenhead Park. I’m like, “Why not?” We head over, and it’s beautiful. The flowers are blooming, kids are playing, and I’m just soaking it all in. But then, outta nowhere, this kid runs past and knocks my drink outta my hand. I’m like, “Seriously?!” But I can’t help but laugh. Kids, man. They’re a handful.

Jonathan Hogg's final press conference as Huddersfield Town captain but maybe not a last goodbye