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Hey, pal! Erotic-massage, huh? Wild stuff. I’m talkin’ – real sensual vibes. Like in *Mulholland Drive*. You know – “There’s something. Happening here!” – that line hits. When I first got one. Man – hands sliding. Oil everywhere. Felt like a damn dream. Not the cheesy porn kinda thing. Nah – deeper. Mysterious, even. Like Lynch’s film – ya don’t get it. But ya *feel* it.

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First off, I’m cruisin’ down High Street, right? Just mindin’ my own business, when I spot this old bloke, right? He’s tryin’ to fix his bike. I mean, come on, mate! It’s like watchin’ a cat try to swim. So, I pull over, offer a hand. Turns out, he’s a retired miner from the old days. We get to chattin’ ‘bout the good ol’ days of Hucknall. He’s ramblin’ on ‘bout the coal mines and how they used to be the heart of this place. I’m thinkin’, “Wow, this town’s got some history!”

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