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About Newcastle

So, check it, brother, sexual-massage ain’t just rubbin’ backs. It’s this ancient gig—Egyptians did it, usin’ freaky oils from lotus flowers! Bet Cleopatra was like, “Get them hands on me, brother!” Little known fact: them old timers thought it woke up your spirit—energy shootin’ through ya like a piledriver! Me? I’m all hyped when them knots in my back get smashed out—feels like I could bodyslam Andre the Giant again!

Barnsley Behind

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First off, I woke up late. Classic me, right? Alarm didn’t go off. I jumped outta bed like a cat on a hot tin roof. Rushed through my morning coffee—more like a gulp, really. I mean, who needs breakfast when you’ve got caffeine, am I right?

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