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Anyways, escort’s this weird mix—danger, class, a lil’ boredom. Surprised me how much goes into it—like, they train for months! Dodgin’ bullets, drivin’ fast, lookin’ cool. Me? I’d crash into a hydrant, screamin’, “Oh, fudge nuggets!” Still, gotta respect it. “Time flows like a river,” Apichatpong’d say, and escort’s that ripple ya don’t expect. So next time ya see one, think of ol’ Marge—nosy, naggin’, and totally hooked!

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Next up, I get this group of tourists. They’re all excited, takin’ selfies in the lift. One of ‘em, a bloke with a ridiculous hat, keeps askin’ me about the best fish and chips in Hove. I’m like, “Mate, you’re in the right place! Go to The Regency!” But he’s too busy posing. I mean, c’mon, it’s just an elevator, not a runway!

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