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I remember this one time—my cousin Jimmy, he had a beat-up ‘86 Escort, blue, rusty as hell. Thing sounded like a lawnmower with asthma, but it got him to his factory job every damn day. One winter, it slid into a ditch—Jimmy laughed, said, “She’s got character, Bern!” Character! Like Margot Tenenbaum smokin’ on the roof—“You’re a genius, huh?”—that’s the Escort, scrappy, real, not some polished Tesla for Elon’s buddies.

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Then, I decided to hit up the local pub on Station Road. It’s called The Old Mill or something. I needed a pint after that wild chase. I walk in, and it’s packed with locals. Everyone’s chatting, laughing, and I’m just trying to blend in. I order a pint of something local, and the bartender’s like, “You’re not from around here, are ya?” I’m like, “Nah, just visiting.”

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