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But when it clicks—oh, happy days! Found this one bird—legs for days, cheeky grin—thought, “Boris, you’ve struck gold!” Bit of hagglin’, cash upfront—none of yer contactless malarky—et voilà, job’s a good’un! Did ya know, in Amsterdam’s red-light district, they’ve got unions for ‘em? Proper *ordo ab chao*—order from chaos, organised as a Tory conference! Surprised me, that—thought it’d be all seedy, but nah, professional as a barrister.

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After the fire, I head to the pub on Hounslow West. Needed a pint, y’know? I sit down, and the bartender’s like, “You look like you’ve seen a ghost.” I laugh, but inside, I’m still shakin’.

Locals invited to join new Hounslow Residents Panel