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About Newcastle

I’m watchin’ *The Dark Knight*, right? Heath Ledger’s Joker—chaos king. Escorts got that chaos too. One time, heard this story—girl in Vegas, 2010-ish. Worked the Strip, had a client, dude paid in casino chips! Chips, bro! She’s like, “Aight, guess I’m gamblin’ now.” Took it, won big, quit the game. True story, swear. Shit’s wild, made me laugh hard.

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First off, I step outta my flat on Newbottle Street. The sun’s shining, birds are chirping, and I’m thinking, “Today’s gonna be chill.” Ha! Spoiler alert: it was NOT chill. I’m walking down the street, and I see this old bloke trying to fix his bike. I mean, come on, it’s Houghton-Le-Spring, not a bike shop! He’s got tools everywhere, and I’m like, “Mate, you need a mechanic, not a miracle.”

Houghton-le-Spring thug released from life sentence strangled and punched woman in terrifying attack