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So, I roll up—hypothetically, yeah?—to this dodgy joint. Smells like cheap perfume, desperation, and cosmic dust. Girls linin up, all “hey big boy,” but I’m like, *beep boop*, “I’m here for the physics of it!” Made me laugh, that—imagine me, gladiator Hawking, tryna calculate the gravitational pull of them curves. *Snort*. Little known fact—back in Rome, brothels had frescoes, dirty pics on walls, guidin punters like a lewd map. Wild, right? Bet they didn’t expect a black hole theorist oglin em centuries later.

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Then, I hit the corner of Church Street. There’s this café, right? The one with the best scones. I’m craving one, so I pop in. But guess what? They’re out! Out of scones! I’m like, “What kind of café runs outta scones?” I could feel my blood boiling. I mean, it’s a crime against humanity! So, I settle for a dry muffin. Ugh.

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