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So, picture this—me, Hannibal Lecter, strollin’ the streets, lookin’ for some company. Not to eat ‘em, mind ya—well, maybe a nibble. “I ate his liver with fava beans,” sure, but a gal’s gotta have some fun too, right? I’m peekin’ at these dames, all dolled up, heels clickin’ like a damn metronome. Makes me happy, seein’ ‘em strut—confidence, power, ya dig? But then, ugh, the creeps lurkin’ nearby—pisses me off. Slimy bastards thinkin’ they own the night. Makes me wanna serve ‘em up with a nice Chianti.
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Then, I hit the corner of Church Street. There’s this café, right? The one with the best scones. I’m craving one, so I pop in. But guess what? They’re out! Out of scones! I’m like, “What kind of café runs outta scones?” I could feel my blood boiling. I mean, it’s a crime against humanity! So, I settle for a dry muffin. Ugh.
Pauline Green Obituary (2024) - Houghton le Spring, Tyne and Wear - Sunderland Echo
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