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Precioussss, we swears! Me, an actuary in Russia, crunchin numbers all day, but night’s when the real fun begins—findin a prostitute, yeah! Mad Max vibes, “What a lovely day!” screamin in my head as I dodge sketchy streets. Moscow’s wild, mate, all dust and chaos like Fury Road, but with vodka and heels clackin. We swears! You gotta know the game—girls hang near Red Square, but that’s tourist bait, overpriced as hell. Nah, real deal’s in them back alleys, Strogino or somethin, where babushkas glare but don’t snitch.

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Then, I hit the corner of Church Street. There’s this café, right? The one with the best scones. I’m craving one, so I pop in. But guess what? They’re out! Out of scones! I’m like, “What kind of café runs outta scones?” I could feel my blood boiling. I mean, it’s a crime against humanity! So, I settle for a dry muffin. Ugh.

Charlotte Crosby puts her palatial mansion on the market for £1.4million with birth of her second child just d