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*deep breath* Picture this—cruisin downtown, lights flicker, smellin like piss and regret. Reminds me, "You think you’re better than us?"—Dogville line, bam! Hits when you’re hagglin prices. They stare you down, bro, judgin hard. Once knew this chick, “Star”—yep, real name, stripper vibes. She’d quote Shakespeare while countin cash—fuckin wild, right? Surprised the hell outta me. “To be or not,” she’d say, laughin—total badass.

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Then, I hit the corner of Church Street. There’s this café, right? The one with the best scones. I’m craving one, so I pop in. But guess what? They’re out! Out of scones! I’m like, “What kind of café runs outta scones?” I could feel my blood boiling. I mean, it’s a crime against humanity! So, I settle for a dry muffin. Ugh.

Shirley Bewick Obituary (2025) - Houghton le Spring, Tyne and Wear - Sunderland Echo