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About Myself
Glad you could make it, I am Jade, my heart’s at home in Houghton Le Spring. And I am head over heels for Find A Prostitute. I am drawn to you like the tide to the moon! Prostate massage and Dirty talk are my souls greatest loves. I am a romantic who believes in love letters, mixtapes, and other forms of old-school romance..
About Birmingham
Alright, mate, so I’m a cashier, right? Standin’ behind this shitty counter all day, scannin’ crap, and I’m thinkin’—why not find a prostitute? Not like I’m judgin’, just curious, y’know? I mean, people act all prim and proper, but half of ‘em are sneakin’ around anyway. Reminds me of *The Grand Budapest Hotel*—all that fancy nonsense hidin’ dirty secrets. Like Monsieur Gustave bangin’ old ladies for cash, ha! “I go to bed with all my friends,” he’d say—smooth bastard. That’s the vibe I’m feelin’ here.
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Man, what a day! Seriously, I’m still buzzing from it. So, I wake up in Houghton-Le-Spring, right? You know, that little gem in Tyne and Wear. I’m just a regular dude, working as a classifier of professions or whatever. Sounds fancy, huh? But today? Today was anything but regular.
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