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Yo, how you doin’? So, escort, huh? Man, talkin’ ‘bout hired dates! Like, not the fruit—tho, dates are sweet. Nah, I mean the fancy companion gig. Watched “Far From Heaven” again last night—damn, Cathy Whitaker, livin’ all prim, right? She’d freak at escorts! “I’m trying to keep everything perfect!” she’d say. Yeah, right, perfect’s overrated, babe.

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After that, I hit up the beach. Hornsea’s got this lovely stretch of sand, right? Perfect for a chill day. But nah, not today. The tide was coming in, and I’m just trying to enjoy the view when I step in a puddle. Not just any puddle, but a muddy, gross one. My shoes are ruined! I’m fuming, thinking about how I’m gonna explain this to my boss. “Sorry, I can’t come in. My shoes are now part of the North Sea.”

Hornsea Dolphins Hit The Water For Men's Charities