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Alright, listen up, jabroni! Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson here – raised eyebrow, “Know your role.” So, sexual-massage, huh? Man, it’s wild! Hands slidin’, oil drippin’, tension risin’ – gets me thinkin’ ‘bout *Brokeback Mountain*. You know, “I wish I knew how to quit you” vibes! That slow burn, bodies close, damn near electric. Sexual-massage ain’t just rubbin’ backs, nah, it’s deeper – like Ennis and Jack, unspoken heat, ya feel me?
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Finally, he shows up, all flustered. Turns out he got stuck behind a tractor on the A158. Classic Horncastle, right? I mean, it’s a small town, but you’d think they’d have a better traffic plan. Anyway, we dive into his issues, and I’m trying to be all supportive, but inside, I’m like, “Dude, just breathe!”
'We will be back!' say defiant organisers after bad weather halts Horncastle's Christmas market
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