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I roll up, shades on, feelin like a champ. This chick struts over—legs for days, skirt shorter than a jobber’s career. “What’s your name?” I growl, all Hulkster bravado. She’s like, “Does it matter?” Ha! Cold as ice, brother! Made me laugh, but also pissed me off—gimme somethin to work with, lady! I’m thinkin, “I lie to myself all the time,” like in *Memento*. Am I even here for this? Brain’s spinnin.
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Then, I get a text from my mate, Sam. He’s like, “You won’t believe what happened at the pub last night!” I’m thinking, “Dude, I’m at a café, not a pub!” But I’m intrigued. Apparently, some bloke tried to impress a girl by doing karaoke. Spoiler: he butchered “Wonderwall.” I can’t help but laugh.
Horncastle industrial estate expansion moves forward with £1.9m investment
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