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Oi mate, gather round, listen up! Sexual-massage, what a bloomin’ topic, eh? Me, Boris, semi-pro waffler, loves a good yarn. Picture this—bit of oil, dim lights, hands roamin’ like Cicero’s oratory in the Senate. *Cave felis*, careful kitty, it’s a slippery slope! Watched “Talk to Her” – Almodóvar’s a genius, init? That film, all about touch, longing, silent bods – hits ya right in the feels. Sexual-massage is like that, sorta. It’s intimate, bit naughty, but *cor blimey*, soothes the soul.

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Then, I bump into Sarah, my old school mate. We haven’t seen each other in ages! We chat about the good ol’ days, and it’s like no time has passed. She’s still as funny as ever. We decide to grab a pint at The Black Bull. Best decision ever!

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