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I ask her name – it’s Trixie, she says. Trixie! Sounds like a dang cartoon rabbit! I laugh, she glares – oops, my bad. Offer her a smoke, tryin’ to chill. She’s all sass, like, “What’s yer deal, cowboy?” I’m like, “Just vibin’, darlin’!” Git-R-Done! We chat – turns out, she’s got a kid. Breaks my heart, man. Surprised me – didn’t expect that.

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Lunchtime rolls around, and I’m off to this café. It’s called The Coffee Corner or somethin’. And wow, it’s packed! I mean, who knew Horbury had such a coffee scene? I grab a flat white, and it’s like liquid gold. Seriously, I could swim in it.

New curry house Kashmiri Aroma opens in Horbury in place of pub that closed down