Anna Honiton Sexual Massage ❤️

About London

“Far From Heaven” vibes hit hard here. That scene where Cathy’s all pent up, desperate for touch—sexual-massage woulda fixed her right up! “I’m going to make everything all right,” she’d say, but nah, she’s too proper. Me? I’d be like, “Gimme that oily goodness, fam!” Aliens don’t get it, tho—our skin’s like metal, no nerves to tingle. Sucks, right? Jealous of you squishy weirdos!

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But then, outta nowhere, this guy walks in. He’s got a parrot on his shoulder! I’m not even kidding. A freakin’ parrot! It’s squawking, and I’m like, “Is this real life?” Turns out, the guy’s a local character. He’s been coming to the pub for years with his feathered friend. I can’t even focus on my drink. I’m just staring at this parrot, thinking, “What’s next? A dog in a tuxedo?”

Road traffic collision causes delays at Moor Lane junction