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About Liverpool

Little known fact? Back in the ‘90s, folks used newspaper ads for this crap! Like, “Horny in Hoboken, call me!” Can you imagine? No pics, just vibes. Now it’s all swipe-right, dick-pic central. Progress, huh? Drives me nuts how dudes think “hey sexy” is a pickup line. Bro, I’m not your vending machine—work for it! Still, when it clicks, it’s gold. Like, “The world’s yours, kid,” from *A Prophet*. That rush? Addictive as hell.

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First off, I head down to High Street. You know, the main drag. It’s got that classic vibe, all quaint shops and stuff. I’m thinking coffee, obviously. Can’t start a day without caffeine, am I right? So I pop into this cute little café, The Honiton Coffee House. I order a flat white, and the barista—bless her—totally messes it up. I mean, how do you mess up a flat white? It’s just milk and espresso! I’m like, “Uh, this is a latte, not a flat white.” She just smiles and says, “It’s all good, mate.” I’m like, “No, it’s not!” But whatever, I chug it down anyway.

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