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Favorite movie’s *Fish Tank*, right? Andrea Arnold gets it – gritty, raw, lonely vibes. Sex-dating’s the same. You’re chasin’ somethin’, but it’s empty. “Bring your ugly face over here,” Mia’s stepdad yells – that’s me on these apps, horny and yellin’! Hella fun tho, tractor’s hummin’ all day, then bam – night’s for fuckin’. Once matched this girl, said she’s into “tractor sex.” Thought she meant ridin’ me on the John Deere! Nope, just a kink – disappointed but still smashed.

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I’m like, “Dude, we can’t just leave it!” So, we decide to take it to the vet on Kingsland Road. But first, we gotta get it some food. We swing by the Tesco on the High Street. I’m tryin’ to juggle the dog and grab some kibble. It’s chaos! The dog’s pullin’ me one way, and I’m tryna avoid the old lady with her trolley.

Holyhead reopening fears as photos show extent of damage