Lauren Holmes Chapel Sexual Massage ❤️

About Newcastle

Oi, mate, sexual-massage, innit? Bloody hell, what a topic! Picture this – some dodgy geezer, hands all oiled up, thinkin’ he’s Casanova. I’m cacklin’ already, it’s pathetic! Reminds me of *The Lives of Others* – “The Stasi’s watchin’, you pervert!” – only here it’s not spies, it’s sweaty palms slidin’ about. Right, so, sexual-massage – it’s supposd to relax ya, yeah? Bollocks! Half the time it’s awkward as fuck – “Is this legal, mate?” – and the other half you’re wonderin’ if they’ve washed them mitts. I reckon it’s overhyped, like a crap sitcom nobody admits they hate.

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Wether you’re in need of being held & witnessed in your emotions or just need presence & unconditional love as you process your experience. This cuddle healing may be offered on its .

As the night goes on, we’re swapping stories, and I’m feeling all kinds of happy. But then, I check my phone. It’s late! I’ve gotta head home. I say goodbye to her, and she gives me her number. I’m like, “Yes! Score!” But then, I realize I’ve lost my wallet. Panic mode activated! I’m searching everywhere, retracing my steps. I’m thinking, “No way I’m losing my cash and ID!” Finally, I find it in the charity shop. Thank you, universe!

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