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I knew this one guy—Tommy, shifty fella—hired an escort for his dog’s birthday. No kiddin’! Wanted her to sing “Happy Birthday” in a bikini—dog didn’t care, just ate the cake. Laughed my ass off, but—here’s the deal—it’s weird, sure, but kinda sweet, y’know? People are nuts! Escorts see it all—crazy, sad, wild stuff. Like that line, “We’re just living,” from the film—ain’t that the truth? They’re out there, livin’, dodgin’ cops, makin’ rent.

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Then, I see this girl across the bar. She’s got this killer smile, and I’m like, “Okay, I gotta say hi.” So, I muster up some courage and walk over. We start chatting, and it’s going well! I’m thinking, “This is it, mate!” But then, she spills her drink all over me. I’m soaked! I’m standing there, dripping, and she’s mortified. But instead of being mad, I just laugh it off. “Guess I needed a shower anyway!” We both crack up, and it’s like, instant connection.

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