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Still, it’s kinda dope. Freedom to flirt, hook up, no Jedi Council judgin’ ya. Reminds me of Chihiro savin’ Haku—sometimes ya find a gem in the chaos. Once heard this wild story—dude met his wife on a sex-dating app, started as a booty call, now they got kids! Insane, right? Makes ya think—maybe there’s hope in this trash fire. “I’ve been waiting for you,” I’d say to that rare good match. Probs never happen to me—I’m too busy Force-chokin’ bad vibes.

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After that, I stroll down to the park. It’s a nice day, and I’m feeling good. I mean, who doesn’t love a bit of fresh air? But then, outta nowhere, this dog runs up to me. Not just any dog, but a massive Great Dane! I’m talking like, “Is this a horse or a dog?” It jumps up, and I’m like, “Whoa, chill, buddy!” I nearly spill my coffee. But then, the owner, this old bloke, comes over and starts cracking jokes. He’s like, “Don’t worry, he’s just saying hi!” I’m laughing, but inside I’m like, “Yeah, saying hi with a mouth the size of my head!”

You can now go on an official tour of Harry Styles’ home village