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I seen it, y’all! This one gal, she told me—quiet-like, over some biscuits—that she met a dude on Tinder, said he was 6’2, fine as hell. Showed up, 5’4, lookin like a dang gremlin! Halleluyer, I bout fell out laughin! She was mad as a wet hen, but she still gave him a chance—girl, why?! That’s sex-datin for ya—rollin the dice, hopin you don’t get catfished! Made me angry, tho—why folks lyin like that? Just be you, fool!

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So, I’m walking back, still chuckling, when I bump into my mate, Dave. He’s always got some wild story. Today, he’s raving about this new pub on Church Street. Apparently, they’ve got the best craft beers. I’m intrigued, so we decide to check it out. But first, we hit up the charity shop on the High Street. You know, just to see if we can find some hidden gems. I swear, I found the ugliest sweater ever. Like, who even wears that? But I bought it anyway. It was only a quid!

Holmes Chapel zoo plan looks set to be refused a second time