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*beep boop* We come in peace (robotic tone). Yo, so I’m this mountain guide, right? Alien vibes, chillin’ on peaks, but lemme tell ya bout sexual-massage! It’s wild, fam. Like, humans rubbin’ each other all sensual-like—gets the blood flowin’, ya know? Not just some basic backrub, nah, it’s next level. Think oils, dim lights, maybe some freaky music. I seen it from orbit—er, I mean, trails—and it’s dope!

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Finally, I hit send, and I’m done! I flop on the couch, exhausted but happy. Holbeck, you crazy place, you’ve given me a day to remember. I’m already planning my next adventure. Maybe I’ll find that parrot again. Who knows?

St Luke's Holbeck supports parents of children with additional needs