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What pisses me off? The fakes! Catfishers, ughhh! Pretendin’ they’re hot, then boom—surprise, it’s a creep! Reminds me of *Tabu*—“a crocodile with tender tears.” Fake-ass tears, more like it! But when it works? Oh man, I’m HAPPY for ya! Like, two randos meetin’ up, sparks flyin’, no BS—just primal vibes. That’s the dream, right?

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First off, I hit up the local café on High Street. You know, the one with the weird name? “The Bean Scene” or somethin’. I ordered my usual – a latte that’s basically a hug in a cup. But guess what? They messed it up! I got a flat white instead. Like, c’mon, how hard is it? I was ready to throw a fit, but then I saw the barista’s face. Poor kid looked like he’d just lost a puppy. So, I chilled. I mean, it’s just coffee, right?

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