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Little known fact, eh? Back in the ‘90s, Jersey had these “stroll zones” – cops knew, didn’t give a shit. Girls’d walk, johns’d cruise, like some fucked-up parade. Nowadays, it’s sneaky, all online, Craigslist bullshit, but the streets? Still got that old-school vibe. Makes me happy, y’know, nostalgia or whatever. Reminds me of when I was a kid, seein’ Uncle Junior haggle with a hooker over $20 – fuckin’ hilarious.

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I started my day on Swindon Road. You know, the one that’s always busy with cars zooming past like they’re in a race? I swear, if I had a quid for every time I nearly got run over, I’d be rich! Anyway, I was checking out this massive oak tree. I mean, it was a beast! Gnarled branches, leaves like hands waving at me. I was in my element, feeling all zen and stuff.

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