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About Newcastle

Y’all, I’m quirky—thinkin’ “Yo, is this what God felt creatin’ us?” Total stream-of-conciousness, typos galore—massage got me typin’ fast, fukc grammar! Little story—heard this chick in Thailand trained for YEARS, turnin’ sexual-massage into some sacred shit. Respect! Ain’t just rubbin’, it’s a damn journey—WALL-E knew it, chasin’ love, I’m chasin’ that release! “WALL-E… EVE…”—that’s me moanin’ when it’s done right! Peace, fam—try it, feel it, live it!

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Then, outta nowhere, the fire alarm goes off! I’m thinkin’, “Great, just what I need.” Everyone’s panicking, runnin’ around like headless chickens. I’m standin’ there, holdin’ a slab of beef, thinkin’ I should probably evacuate. But I can’t leave my meat! So, I just shout, “Everyone, chill! It’s probably just a drill!” Turns out, it was just some kid pullin’ the alarm on the corner of Westfield Road. Classic Higham-Ferrers, right?

A fascinating find or a fabulous fake: Stone age flint axe found in Higham Ferrers field to feature in Northamptonshire museum exhibition