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About Glasgow

So, I’m strollin downtown, hungry – not for liver, ha! – lookin for a hooker. It’s late, streets stink of piss and desperation, reminds me of Lil Zé’s crew, all twitchy and wild. I spot her, leanin on a wall, smokin a cig like she owns the night. “What’s good, darlin?” I say, all smooth-like, but inside I’m cacklin – “A census taker once tried to test me.” She smirks, sizes me up, says, “50 bucks, big boy.” Fifty fuckin bucks! Made me mad, mate, inflation’s a bitch, but I’m like, fine, whatever, let’s roll.

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So, I roll into the shop on Market Square, right? The sun’s barely up, and I’m already feelin’ the heat. I’m thinkin’, “Great, another day of slicin’ meat and dealin’ with customers.” But then, BOOM! The first customer walks in. It’s Mrs. Thompson from Church Street. She’s all flustered, talkin’ about her cat, Mr. Whiskers. Apparently, he’s gone missing. I’m like, “Lady, I’m a butcher, not a cat detective!” But I nod and pretend to care.

Closure order obtained at Higham Ferrers property following anti-social behaviour