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Anyway, I’m imaginin’ this scene—me, awkward as hell, tryin’ to negotiate. “How much? Wait, no, don’t answer!” I’d panic, thinkin’ about my ex-wife, my accountant, God—what a mess! In *Werckmeister*, they say, “All is lost!”—yep, that’s me, losin’ it over a $20 deal! I’d probly tip too much outta guilt, then rant, “Why’s this so stressful?!” Happy? Nope. Surprised? Hell yeah—how do people DO this?!
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But then, I see this old couple sitting on a bench, holding hands. And I’m like, “Aww, that’s cute.” It kinda warms my heart, you know? Makes me forget about the chaos for a sec.
Lorraine Kelly to celebrate opening of first Bonmarché store in High Wycombe
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