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Another thing—the dark web, y’know? Scary stuff. Heard stories, wild stories, ‘bout encrypted chats and secret codes. Like spies! Made me happy, in a weird way, thinkin’ people are still clever. But also, c’mon, really? Secret codes for that?

'Muggings, shootings and stabbings' have also occurred in Palfrey, say residents

First off, I’m a Makhaut, which is basically a fancy way of saying I’m a storyteller. But today? Today was more like a rollercoaster. I grab my coffee from that little café on Main Street. You know the one? The one with the weirdly named pastries? I swear, who names a croissant “The Heysham Hug”? Anyway, I’m chugging my coffee, and I’m like, “Let’s do this!”

Newly opened Heysham village toilets temporarily closed due to travellers' camp