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Alright, you asses, listen up! I’m Eric Cartman, respect my authoritah! So, escort, huh? Not the car, dumbass, the "company" kind. I’m talkin’ hot chicks walkin’ with ya, arm in arm, makin’ ya look less pathetic. Like, seriously, who needs that? Me, I’d be pissed if I had to pay for some chick to pretend she likes me. But whatever, some losers do it, and I get it—kinda. Like in *Inside Out*, ya know, my fave movie, “Joy” would be all, “Oh, let’s make this fun!” while “Sadness” is cryin’ in the corner ‘cause it’s fake as hell.

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We’re going through her policy, and suddenly, the doorbell rings. It’s her neighbor, Dave. Now, Dave’s a character. He’s always got some wild story about his fishing trips. Today, he’s ranting about how he caught a fish the size of a small child. I’m like, “Sure, Dave, and I’m the Queen of England.” But he’s dead serious!

Andy Woodman proud of Bromley’s achievements in debut campaign