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Laughed my ass off—prostitutes got sass, man! Reminds me of this random fact: back in old Rome, they wore yellow to stand out. Yellow! Like, “Yo, I’m here, pay me!” Kinda dope, kinda sad. Got me thinkin’—what’s her story? Maybe she’s fightin’ her own fight, like the women in *Moolaadé*. “No one can stop us!”—damn right, movie vibes hittin’ hard. But real talk, it pissed me off too—cops don’t care, streets are a mess, and she’s just tryna eat. Eat my shorts, society!

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First stop, I’m zooming down Battle Hill. I mean, c’mon, who names a street after a battle? Sounds intense, but it’s just a regular road. Anyway, I’m thinking about my first client, Mrs. Thompson. She’s a sweet old lady, but she’s got more questions than a toddler. “What if my cat gets lost? What if my house burns down?” I’m like, “Chill, Mrs. T, we got you covered!” But inside, I’m sweating bullets.

Full list of road closures announced for North East marathon