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Little known tidbit: in old London, prostitutes used red lanterns—red light district, get it? She’d probly have one, glowin’ all sexy and sad. I’d be torn—part of me’s like, “This is wild,” part’s like, “This sucks for her.” I’d exagerate in my head, “She’s a queen, rulin’ this dump!” But nah, she’s just survivin’.

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First stop, I’m zooming down Battle Hill. I mean, c’mon, who names a street after a battle? Sounds intense, but it’s just a regular road. Anyway, I’m thinking about my first client, Mrs. Thompson. She’s a sweet old lady, but she’s got more questions than a toddler. “What if my cat gets lost? What if my house burns down?” I’m like, “Chill, Mrs. T, we got you covered!” But inside, I’m sweating bullets.

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