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Picture this: dim lights, soft tunes, maybe some incense—total vibe. Hands kneadin’ ya, hittin’ spots you didn’t know existed. Like, “Whoa, where’d THAT tension come from?” Had one once—true story—gal’s hands were magic, swear she was a wizard. Felt like I was floatin’, Bugs Bunny in space! “Groovy scene, man,” I’d say, straight outta *Inherent Vice*. Anderson’d dig it—all hazy and weird.

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Then, I get a call from a bloke on Central Parade. He’s stuck in traffic ‘cause some kid decided to set up a lemonade stand right in the middle of the road. I’m like, “Mate, you can’t just block the street for a few quid!” But he’s all, “It’s for charity!” I’m torn, ya know? I love a good lemonade, but not at the cost of my sanity.

Match Report: Herne Bay Women 1, QPR FC Women 2