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Alright, pal, listen up! I’m Gordon Gekko – “Greed is good.” – and I’m dishin’ the dirt on escort, ya hear? Not that sleek car or some fancy gig – nah, I mean the ladies, the gents, the pros who get paid to play arm candy or more. Been thinkin’ bout this since I rewatched *Uncle Boonmee Who Can Recall His Past Lives* – damn, that flick’s weird as hell! Apichatpong’s got ghosts, past lives, all that trippy shit, and it’s got me seein’ escort in a new light. Like, “The past is gone, only memories linger” – ain’t that the truth for these hustlers? They’re livin’ night by night, cash in hand, no lookin’ back.

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So, I’m drowning in forms, right? Then, outta nowhere, my phone buzzes. It’s my mate, Jess. She’s like, “You won’t believe what just happened!” I’m thinking, “Oh great, what now?” Turns out, she was at the Hereford Cathedral, and some tourist mistook it for a pub! Like, who does that? It’s a cathedral, not a boozer! I couldn’t stop laughing.

NEWS | A service of Thanksgiving to God for the life of Sir Thomas Dunne was held at Hereford Cathedral this afternoon with Queen Camilla in attendance