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Oh, and fun fact—there’s this old Japanese trick, *shiatsu*, pressin points, gets the blood pumpin. Bet them samurai loved that after a fight—prolly braggin bout it over sake. “Look at her, she’s trembling,” like in the movie, but nah, it’s just me, shiverin from a good rubdown. Anyway, sexual-massage? It’s a vibe, friend—gentle, warm, happy lil trees all the way. Whatcha think?

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So, I head over to the park, Gadebridge Park, to chill for a bit. It’s lush there, all green and stuff. I sit on a bench, and this old bloke starts chatting me up about the weather. I’m like, “Yeah, mate, it’s England. It’s always dodgy!” But he’s got stories, man. He’s talking about the old days, when Hemel was just a small town. I’m thinking, “Wow, I’m learning history while I’m just trying to enjoy my day.”

2025 Hertfordshire local elections: Focus on Hemel Hempstead