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So, check this—back in the ‘80s, escorts were legit sneaky. Little known fact: some worked for spies! Cold War stuff, man, they’d charm secrets outta dudes over martinis. Ain’t that nuts? I’m like, whoa, happy as a pig in mud hearin’ that. But then—D’oh!—it pisses me off too, ‘cause some folks judge ‘em hard. Like, “Oh, scandal!” Get over it, Marge-types! It’s a job, pays better than flippin’ burgers.

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But then, I see it. A bloody pigeon just poops right on me freshly cut wood! I’m like, “Seriously?!” I can’t catch a break today. I’m standin’ there, lookin’ at the sky, thinkin’, “What did I do to deserve this?”

Demolition of former Helston care home could be happening in a matter of weeks