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Sometimes I’m kneadin’ someone’s shoulders, thinkin’, “Great Scott, they’re stiff as Biff!” Makes me laugh—half these folks prob’ly need it more than they admit. Weird history bit: Victorian docs used “massage” to “cure” women’s “hysteria”—wink-wink, ya get me? Sketchy, sure, but shows ya—erotic-massage been sneaky forever! Anyway, if ya try it, go pro—amateurs’ll leave ya sore and pissed. “You’re my density,” I’d tell a good masseuse—stealin’ from “Shame” vibes there. Gotta jet—clocks ain’t gonna wind themselves!

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But then, I trip over my own feet. Classic me, right? I land right in front of this group of locals. They burst out laughing, and I can’t help but join in. “Just testing the pavement!” I joke. They’re cool about it, and we end up chatting. Turns out, they’re all about the local scene, and I’m soaking up their stories like a sponge.

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