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Oi, so escort, yeah? Bloody mess, innit. I’m Cersei fuckin’ Lannister, darlin’—cold disdain, “I choose violence.” Look at these escorts strutin’ round, thinkin’ they own King’s Landing. Makes my blood boil, it does! Saw this one lass, right, all dolled up, walkin’ like she’s Adèle from *Blue Is the Warmest Color*. That flick’s my fave—messy love, raw as hell. “I couldn’t stop watching her,” like Adèle says. Escorts got that vibe, y’know? Pullin’ you in, then bam—empty yer pockets.

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First off, I get this bloke walkin’ in, all jittery. He’s got that wild look in his eyes, like he just saw a ghost or somethin’. Turns out, he’s just lost a bet on the footie. I mean, c’mon mate, it’s Hedon! You gotta know your teams! He starts rantin’ about how the ref was blind. I’m like, “Dude, you’re just mad ‘cause your team’s rubbish.” But he’s not havin’ it.

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