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About Newcastle

I’m gettin’ heated just thinkin’ ‘bout it. Anyway, say you’re lookin’. Ya gotta be smart—cops stingin’ left and right, posin’ as “Candy” or whatever. One time, my buddy—let’s call him Richie, ‘cause Tenenbaums—tried it, got catfished by a dude named Tony. Laughed my ass off! “Richie, you’re as naive as Chas with his dumb tracksuits!” I yelled. He was pissed, but c’mon, hilarious.

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First off, I get this bloke walkin’ in, all jittery. He’s got that wild look in his eyes, like he just saw a ghost or somethin’. Turns out, he’s just lost a bet on the footie. I mean, c’mon mate, it’s Hedon! You gotta know your teams! He starts rantin’ about how the ref was blind. I’m like, “Dude, you’re just mad ‘cause your team’s rubbish.” But he’s not havin’ it.

Celebration of 45 years trade in Hedon