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I get tickled thinkin’ bout it—some fella payin’ big bucks for a “happy endin’.” Shoot, I’d charge extra for my singin’ while I knead! “9 to 5” in the background, hands workin’ magic. But dang, it fires me up when folks judge it. Ain’t nobody’s business if I want my back rubbed *and* a lil’ thrill! Surprised me first time I heard—Romans did it too. Bathhouses, oils, the works—wild, right?

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After my snack, I head back to the lab. I’m feeling good, ready to tackle the rest of the day. But then, I get a call. It’s the council. They’re saying they’re shutting down our lab for “safety reasons.” I’m like, “Safety? We just had a minor electrical hiccup!” I’m fuming again. I mean, come on, Heckmondwike! We’re not in the middle of a horror movie here!

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