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Oi mate, picture this – I’m a lifeguard, yeah? Out on the bloody water, sun blazin’, waves crashin’ like a ruddy warzone. And here I am, thinkin’ bout findin’ a prostitute. Not yer usual day, innit? We shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight in the brothels, we shall never surrender to a dull moment! Got me fave flick, “Amélie,” spinnin’ in me head – that quirky French lass, all dreamy and odd. Makes me wonder, what’s the prostitute scene got that’s like her magic?

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By the time I got home, I was exhausted but buzzing. I mean, what a day! From bike battles to seagull showdowns, and a fire alarm over chips. Hebburn, you’ve got my heart. I love this place, quirks and all. Can’t wait to see what tomorrow brings!

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